My day-to-day consists of a series of goals and items that must be crossed off of a list. I usually have most of my weekend planned out by mid-week and knowing exactly what to expect helps me sleep better at night.
…but sometimes I get burnt out and when that happens alternate universe Veronica decides to pay a visit. She hates to-do lists and schedules. She runs on beer and Publix subs, wants to spend all day under the covers and worst of all, she loves bad movies.
And not bad like, “Napoleon Dynamite was playing on Comedy Central today so I watched it for the umpteenth time while folding laundry” bad. Bad as in ABC Family original movie bad (that’s a level below Lifetime movies and a level above The Bachelor. Seriously guys…).
Veronica’s Netflix queue is full of comedies, interesting foreign films, mostly Indian and Hispanic, BBC programming and independent films. Alternate Veronica doesn’t like to think and recently enjoyed a movie marathon that included:
- Teen Spirit (2011): In this movie, a really, really, really mean girl dies after an exposed wire conducted electricity to the prom queen crown she was about to grab. She is taken to a waiting area between heaven and hell while her data is being processed and is told that since she was such an awful person, she was being given a second chance to get into heaven–by turning the most unpopular girl in school into a babe and having her crowned prom queen at the school’s make up prom. Really, dude? You only have one life to live, friends. Make that one count.
- Hello Sister, Goodbye Life (2006): This film is based off of the novel Same As It Never Was… but to be honest, I only watched it because Lacey Chabert a.k.a. Gretchen Weiners from Mean Girls was on it. Basically, Chabert’s estranged father remarries and has another daughter, he dies and leaves the estate and the poor kid with her. Did I mention Chabert is a 21-year-old college student? As if tensions aren’t already flying around, Chabert’s mother decides to move into her ex-husband’s house to help take care of the kid. The mother is played by Wendie Malick and if you’re familiar with her acting, then yes, her character was exactly just like every character she’s ever played: petty and unlikable. Hijinks ensues.
- G.B.F. (2014): The acronym stands for “gay best friend” which is not just the title of the movie, but also the latest fad. For about 75 percent of the movies we see three girls battle it out in winning the attention of a gay high school student, treating him like an accessory. Oh, and he was outed in the worst way by a crazy student who runs the school’s SGA chapter because she wanted an actual gay person in the club. Said student is never reprimanded for disrespecting his privacy. Totes unrealistic.
I am embarrassed after re-reading and typing out the plots to these movies. Why didn’t I call for help after the first movie?
Luckily, Halston and I will be heading to the 25th annual Florida Film Festival next month and will be able to binge-watch movies that will hopefully replace the barrage of garbage I ingested over the weekend. Tonight is the program announcement so hopefully I can make it out to purchase tickets before the general public!
What is something you do that embarrasses you?
Congratulations! You’ve made it through five minutes without thinking of Donald Trump becoming our next president!